Thursday 8 June 2017

Doug Talks... Father's Day Gifts For Gay Dads

Greetings, or should I say Konichiwa (yes I have just got back from Japan). I’m here to speak to a very niche set of you all - the children of gay dads. Gay men have an enhanced knowledge of style, luxury and the higher state of things, and just because they’ve procreated, it doesn’t mean they lost their sheer fabulousness. And before you accuse me of stereotyping, I should warn you that I’m writing this while wearing a kimono and a face-mask, so it’s pretty much a lost cause. Go and complain to Russell Tovey about why we can’t all be straight-acting or something. Anyway, enough about me and my edgy politics...

Children - you are all terrible. You take away the joy and youth from your father with all your incessant partying and wrecking of his Kelly Hoppen garden furniture. So the least you can do is restore it with some rather lovely grooming products this Father's Day.

Number one on the gift list is a genuine favourite of mine. It is the Clinique For Men™ Maximum Hydrator Activated Water-Gel Concentrate, which is so mesmerisingly beautiful that I spent a good ten minutes staring at it while singing ‘I'm Kissing You’ by Des'ree (you know, from Romeo + Juliet). Putting this serum's beautiful translucent blue bubbles aside, it is a fab product that delivers a ‘turbo-boost of cool supercharged hydration’ - or, in actual human words, hydration to your skin - stopping it being thirstier than gay Twitter on a Sunday morning. It’s also got a whole host of benefits, including helping prevent signs of ageing, and has ‘Liquid SphereTM Technology’ which bursts out spheres of vitamin E and C, while locking in hydration, helping to boost the skin’s moisture retention. At an affordable price of £34.99, it makes for a great gift for most budgets.

Ageing is something a lot of gay men fear and while we should all embrace who we are, and realise we are loved for our spirit and not our flawless cheekbones, it’s nice to have a little something just to keep us looking fresh. Estee Lauder has a product that addresses the first area in which ageing becomes most obvious in gay men - the liver. I’m joking of course, it's the eyes and the product in question is the world-famous Advanced Night Repair Eye Serum (try saying that after three margaritas). This eye treatment is proven to reduce eye ageing in its many forms - fine lines, wrinkles, puffiness, dark circles, dryness and uneven skintone. It’s a lightweight serum that really does keep the eye area looking radiant and rested. It’s a little on the pricey side at £49.00, but your dad will really love the way this brings out his eyes and makes him look just a little bit like that 20 year old twink once again.

My next suggestion is something a little different but equally as fabulous. It is the Foreo Luna Go for Men. Despite looking like a disgruntled porcupine, this pretty impressive travel device will certainly get all the gays talking at Dinner Club. It’s a cleansing gadget that offers up to 8,000 T-Sonic pulsations per minute through itsy-bitsy silicone touchpoints (or silicone porcupine quills if you will). It cleanses and conditions the skin, offers an anti-ageing function, and can be used pre-shaving. Word on the street is that it does sterling work at getting rid of blackheads, so if your dad’s suffering from adult acne, this could be the gift for him. It’s also travel-friendly so it can accompany him on business trips and weekends away. Not bad for £85.00.

Now we've found ourselves safely in beauty mode, it’s time to address the elephant in the room, or - as it’s a gay post - the flamingo in the pool party. BEARDS. Everyone has an opinion on them, and in both gay and straight worlds right now, the lumbersexual look has hit the heights of fashion. If your darling papa has a hefty beard, I’d fully recommend getting him the affordable Lion Tamer from Bedhead...its created by hairdressers don't you know. It is designed for both beards and hair, and gives light control and conditioning, while making sure the hair stays soft and healthy. It is also just £12.95!

Lion Tamer is guaranteed to have your dad feeling like a strong macho bear (fun fact: hairy gay guys are either referred to as bears or otters. And, like otters, we’re happy if you feed us raw fish - in the form of sushi. Did I mention I’ve just been to Japan?).

My next recommendation is for the beardless and it comes from the tongue-twisting but impossibly glamorous Omorovicza! It is a shaving cream but not just any shaving cream. Omorovicza use minerals from healing waters in Budapest and mix them with camphor and menthol to create a moisturising and soothing shave cream that is perfect for your skincare savvy dad. The Soothing Shave features anti-inflammatory sea mayweed to soothe irritations, exotic fruit extracts to reduce pore size and plum almond oil to restore skin elasticity (very important to keep skin looking young, as anyone over 30 is gay-dead). Most importantly though, this product looks expensive (it's actually £18.00), and it’ll grace the side of your dad’s washbasin with suitable elegance. Beautiful and unpronounceable - it’s like that Russian guy your dad dated back in the Noughties.

Moving on now to the source of all gay men’s power: hair. Seriously though, from the second you step foot in your first gay bar, to the moment you die on a satin divan surrounded by adoring fans, children and pugs, your hair is the most important card in your deck. Moroccan Oil know this well, as the premium haircare brand created a Molding Cream enriched with (you guessed it) Argan Oil, to style your hair with a flexible hold. Offering to ‘shape, sculpt and design perfectly texturized hair’ this cream will bless your papa’s hair with cracking style. It may be £19.85 but it's worth it.

Now it's time to get talking about the product usually found at the top of a gift list, fragrance. One of the big differences between the gays and the straights, that I’ve noticed, is that a gay guy is all about the finishing touches to his appearance - and nothing says finishing touch quite like a decent perfume. One of my favourite recent fragrance finds is Clean Reserve’s Smoked Vetiver.

Smoked Vetiver is described as ‘creating the feeling of being lost in a forest’. Quite why you’d want to be trapped in a woodland with no 4G is beyond me, however this is a great woody scent that manages to toe the tricky line between being sexy and thirsty. Although it is a very masculine fragrance, Smoked Vetiver does feature a smoky sweetness. It holds top notes of verbena, bamboo leaf, bergamot, quince and pear, heart notes of peony, cotton flower and cedar and base notes of myrrh, amber, vetiver, cedarwood, musk and wild moss. Being an eau de parfum, it won’t fade away before his day is out but it’ll tend more towards subtle than garish. A bit more pricey at £79.00, but hey - you wouldn’t want him wearing Tesco Value would you?

Another great option is the Narciso Rodriguez Bleu Noir, a lovely scent in a frankly gorgeous bottle. It’s so stylish I wish to wear it as a hat and tell people it’s a Philip Treacy. Masculine, elegant, dark-blue: what man could want more? With top notes of nutmeg and cardamon, heart notes of musk and base notes of cedar, amber, vetiver and ebony, Bleu Noir is a strong woody scent that feels just a little bit timeless. I love the man behind the brand too - a New York fashion designer of Cuban descent who likes to serve classic with a modern twist realness. This divine evening-wear scent will be loved by any respectable gay guy and, at £59.00, it won't break the piggy bank...

For those of you who’ve spent all your money going to tiny roof-top bars and drinking exorbitantly priced cosmopolitans, I recommend going for the Jasper Conran Naked, which is ironically what a lot of gay men like to be (I know he’s your dad but he’s a living breathing man with needs, get over it). The bottle is itself an Art Deco inspired beauty and, like the above fragrances, it has a woody scent that includes notes of grapefruit, begamot, patchouli, sandalwood and cedarwood. This eau de toilette feels more like a day scent than the other two - aromatic and effortlessly sensuous. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. If you go to Debenhams to purchase it, you’ll get a cute brown washbag thrown in for free! You’ve given your dad a scent AND an item of luggage. It’s basically a true offering to the Gay Gods - all hail.

There are, of course, lesser things than the lingering synthetic scent of a man to consider. There is the very real issue of body odour. There is a time and a place for BO, and that is never. Help prevent your father’s vigorous dancing to Rihanna’s ‘Only Girl In The World’ causing any more embarrassment by gifting him Yves St Laurent’s perfumed deodorants. Much like many of my past lovers they both have irresistible charm. They each carry a seductive scent, but one is a spray and the other an alcohol-free stick. Not only do they smack of luxury, they also do the job they promise by preventing you perspiring all over the place. The fragrance features notes of cardamom, cedar, lavender and begamot and is perfect for the practical but stylish man. Both around the £20.00 mark, they make for a lovely gift and the designer label will stop your dad from wondering if you’re just trying to drop a hint…

There are so many other fabulous products I could recommend but I haven't got all day and there's a new episode of RuPaul's Drag Race I have to watch. So if none of my suggestions satisfy you (unlikely), head to for the biggest grooming offering imaginable or pop in to Lush for some perfect pampering treats. Top Tip: the Sunnyside Bath bomb is covered in glitter and therefore one of my all-time favourite things.

More than anything though, this is a time to just show your dad (or dads) a little bit of love. After all, if he’s a gay man, the chances are that it wasn’t easy to logistically start a family. You’re the one he actually went out and fought to have in his life, as his child. I’m a big fan of any person who fights for what they want - and so should you be. But don’t get overly sentimental on him, because he might cry and that causes wrinkles. Give him a big squeeze and let him know you love him and every inch of his Kylie-obsessed self. If you’re really devoted, perform the entire ‘I Just Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’ while wearing a white hood made out of bedsheets. It’s the right thing to do.


© The Beauty Informer. All rights reserved.